never knew loving could hurt this good
by RosieCheeks101
Summary: Ellie and Craig move in circles around each other, and in the end someone always ends up getting hurt. /non-linear


Ellie's hands shook as she tried to get the key into the lock, and eventually a hand wrapped around hers, taking the keys and opening the front door. She blinked, and her eyes slid slowly up until she was staring up at Craig. And of course he was here right now, because he always managed to show up at the lowest points of her life. She briefly considered playing sober, but she probably reeked of alcohol anyway.

"Heyy, Craig," she smiled too widely, slouching against him and putting a hand on his chest lightly, "Di'nt know you were in town."

"Just on my way through, I'm crashing on Spin's couch," Craig grunted, wrapping an arm around her waist to guide her gently inside the apartment. His hand was warm against the slither of skin where her shirt rode up, and she fluttered her eyelashes, "Why were you drinking?"

"Can't I just wanna have fun?" she hissed, pulling herself out of his arms and stumbling towards her bedroom. She was faintly aware of the sound of his footsteps behind her, but she didn't have it in herself to care about modesty as she began to strip out of her clothes, down to her underwear by the time she bumped against the bed and fell onto it.

As if on cue Craig appeared beside her, helping her into a sitting position so he could pull a t-shirt that was definitely too big to actually belong to her over her head, "Ellie, you and alcohol have never mixed well, and you know it."

She huffed, "I got stood up, okay? Happy now? Happy to know there's a pathetic reason I decided to drink, just like always?" she was glaring up at him, fists clenching and unclenching mechanically by her sides. One of his hands folded over hers and she stilled, immediately clamming up.

"He's an idiot, who would stand you up?" he mumbled, tucking a chunk of her behind her ear.

"She, she's an idiot," she corrected, ripping her hand away from him and crossing her arms over her chest and observing his reaction, "don't worry, I still like dick," she muttered, lying down and curling onto her side facing him.

He laughed lightly, "Get some sleep, we can talk about the drinking more in the morning."

"I didn't say you could stay here," she protested with a pout.

"I'm not leaving you alone, you're probably gonna be sick," he pointed out, moving to stand before she grabbed his wrist and pulled him down, kissing him roughly.

"Fuck you," she muttered as she pulled away, rolling away from him.

He gave a half-hearted laugh as he left the room.

* * *

Craig rapped his knuckles against Ellie's apartment door.

Murmuring and shuffling could be heard inside for a few moments, and it seemed to take the girl forever to answer the door. When it swung open Ellie was smiling widely, though the expression slipped at the sight of him, opening her mouth as he took in her rumpled appearance. She didn't get a chance to speak though, as a voice Craig instantly recognised called out from inside.

"El? Who is it?"

She didn't respond, just stepped out of the apartment and shut the door behind her, "I didn't know you were coming to town, why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged, leaning against the wall, "I wanted to surprise you, but you and Sean are busy so.."

"Don't leave on his account," Ellie interrupted, glancing up at Craig tentatively. The blow out that had occurred last time they'd seen each other was still fresh on his mind, and clearly she'd been thinking about it as well, "Three's company, right?"

"That's not how the saying goes, Ellie," he chuckled weakly and shook his head, "I don't want to be your awkward third wheel, I'll go."

Ellie caught his arm as he pushed off the wall, holding him back from leaving just yet, "Are you mad at me?"

"What?" he blinked.

"For the way I treated you last time we saw each other," she said softly, dropping her hand from his arm so she could snap the band on her wrist, "I didn't mean to start an argument. I was stressed about a bunch of things."

"Your dad. Paige told me."

"Since when do you talk to Paige?" Ellie snorted, looking comfortable for the first time in their conversation. Teasing was familiar territory.

"We got back in touch at Marco's birthday party," he shrugged, "Anyway, I am sorry about him. I.. I know what it's like to lose a dad, ya know. So no, I'm not mad."

"Good," she said softly, taking his hand and squeezing it.

He squeezed back before kissing her temple and stepping away, "I really should get going."

He turned away and she moved back inside, and he pretended not to hear her say 'don't worry, it was no one' as he walked away.

* * *

"You haven't been taking your meds."

It wasn't a pleasant way to greet Craig home, but Ellie didn't really care about that at the moment. What she cared about was finding out why he hadn't been taking them.

"I've been writing," he said, as if that were a proper answer. The worst part was that she knew exactly what he meant by it, in his own odd way. He'd often complained to her about how fuzzy his brain felt when he was on the meds, and how hard it made it for him to write music.

"Craig, you can't put your music above your health," she said gently, placing the unopened pill bottle on the bench and moving forward to take his hand gently, "You've been really down lately, I'm worried you're having a depressive episode."

"Jesus, El, I think I'd know if I was having an episode!" he snapped, stepping back and tugging a hand through his hair, "Why is it always about my bipolar with you? Why can't we just have a conversation about something normal?"

Ellie's demeanour shifted quickly as she stepped back and bumped against the bench, clearly growing angry herself, "Because you and I, we don't do normal! We don't do simple! Our entire relationship revolves around a hideous pattern of one of us messing up and running to the other!" she responded, her voice rising with each word until she was sure his neighbours must be able to hear. Before Craig had a chance to counter she continued, stepping forward to jab her finger against his chest, "Every time I hurt myself, I run to you! Every time you screw something up, you come to me! And every god damn time Sean fucks me over I come crying to you as if you haven't hurt me worse a hundred times!"

Craig had turned ashen, and Ellie stared up at him. She hadn't been expecting her own outburst, and her mouth worked as she tried to think of what to say next.

"You know I don't mean to.."

"Yeah, I know. You don't mean to hurt me, you never do. But that's what we do Craig, we worry about each other and then turn around and hurt each other. That's us," she muttered, turning around and picking up the pill bottle, "Take your meds," she muttered as she pressed it into his hand and pushed past him.

"Where're you going?" he asked after her, staring at the back of her head.

"Out." She didn't even turn around, just opened the door and walked out.

She wished she was surprised when he didn't follow her.

* * *

Ellie was writing on the couch when Craig got home, and she gave a small wave.

"Hey," she called as he wandered over to peak over her shoulder, tilting her head to kiss his jaw, "How's Ash doing?"

"She's good, whatcha working on?" he inquired, and Ellie's cheeks immediately flushed a bright red, which only served to pique his interest.

"A list. Of rules. For us." She sat up as she answered, and he took the opportunity to sit where her legs had been and pull her into his lap.

"We need rules?" he raised an eyebrow, propping his chin on her shoulder and scanning the list, "I'm pretty sure at least three of these rules are just 'don't get jealous'."

She laughed and leaned back, letting him wrap his arms around her waist, "I wanted to be thorough."

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her cheek, "In other words, you got really bored cause you don't have a story to work on at the moment?"

"You know me so well," she pretended to swoon, chucking her notebook aside and twisting in his lap to straddle his hips and kiss him.

He smiled against her lips, any rules forgotten as he pulled her closer.


End file.
